Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
