my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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