Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize