Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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