Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
