I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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