just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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