dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
