K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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