i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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