drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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