he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
