I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
