Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
