that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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