Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize