You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
