she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
