check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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