i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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