Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
