i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
