Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
