Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
