sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
