Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
