I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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