Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
