So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
