I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
