I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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