Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
