Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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