i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
