were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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