Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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