I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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