This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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