I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
