she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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