Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
