based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
