we have pet lesbian snakes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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