I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize