Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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