I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
