actually, I'm a sock model
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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