enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He better not be in your backpack
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
