i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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