On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
