No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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