Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
