you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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