she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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