Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
grandma shit on top of the toilet
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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