Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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