is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
