You smell like stripper and shame
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
