I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
