I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
