She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
dude. I can hear the air.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
