i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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