Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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