sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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