We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i will never coherently bang her
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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