You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
