Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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