SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The best revenge is premature balding
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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