Swine flu is the new snow day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You don't make any sense
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