We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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