yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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