my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
